January 2011
28 posts
I'm so very close to the edge of losing my shit
I don’t know how much more I can be the rock and the one they turn to for everything. Sometimes, I’m the one in need of a rock and someone to hold me up…but they never seem to see that. I do have a breaking point and point where I’m going to need support.
So worried
You ever think “this is going to happen this night“ and play out that scene and what would happen if it did and how you would handle it and what you would do in your head?
I never think those things will happen until now. I’m just fucking worried as shit beyond belief. I just want to go and hug him and make sure it’s all right.
FUCCCKKKK
One thing
IRATEEEEEEEEE
That is all.
Please ignore
Ignore any posts in regards to a boy, boyfriend or significant other of any sort.
I will from here on out be single for the rest of my life. Happiness eludes me and I am apperently not allowed to have any moment of joy and/or content-ness in my life.
Story of my life...
I was going to write another lovely, possibly long ass post, but ended up on youtube during work….big shock there.
Maybe I’ll update my random babblings while I do laundry.
History class dialogue....
I sit in this class twice a week, basically because Jo would kill me if I left her alone. We’re in two classes and she kind of keeps my attendance regular. I officially bring my laptop to EVERY one of my classes. ALL of them, every last one. It’s quite useful for EVERYTHING. I get bored, I facebook or play games, I type what notes I take. I look up articles I never bothered to read,...
Sometimes, my parents just annoy the fuck out of...
So, my parents and I aren’t particularly close by any means. They’re the classic parents of four children, 3 girls and 1 boy. Middle income family, or so OSAP tells me. We were the classic 50s family when I was younger, stay at home mom, working dad, dinner all together around the table every night, church on Sunday morning and family vacations visiting extended family.
Now, that...
When someone tells you they've never read Harry...
klar425:
that is indeed blasphemous
tonight is the night
He’s supposed to be coming over to spend the night and hang out in my room while I do senate and work tomorrow but it means I get to sleep cuddled up to him tonight, which will be lovely….if he messages me he’s out of the shower.
I hope his internet doesn’t mess up again….
Could anything good be just too good to be true?
So, now it’s been 4 days since I’ve really talked to him. Really since friday night when he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I don’t know if it’s his internet which was being stupid before, or if I don’t know he just doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t even know his number anymore because he had called me on my old loner phone. So I can’t even like...
......family thing my ass
I just discovered a photo, a group shot of the girls on my floor, with out me and two other girls….. how fucking lovely is that. It’s editted to say “****** Floor 2010-2011” and some of the girls have commented about our floor being a “family thing”
Family thing would require waiting the fucking 5 minutes for me and another girl to get there before taking this...
is it right to miss him like I do?
I have really no idea what is going on right now. At first I was nervous and hesitant and then I got excited and started to really like him, now I haven’t really heard from him and don’t really want to tell anyone that because I’m scared of what they’ll think or say.
FML
can’t something go right for once?
is it right to miss him like I do?
Envision
You are going to kick my ass this semester….
maybe it’s for the best, having something due every week will keep me on the ball…I hope.
I just don't know anymore....
I don’t know about anything really,
I don’t know if I can do this,
I don’t know if I can survive this,
I don’t know if this is for me,
I don’t who is there for me,
I don’t know friends from foe,
I just fucking don’t know.
I want to lock my door, scream and shout, hit, and bang and just lose it.
Instead, I put a smile on my face, pull my hair back,...
I'm kind of completly done, is that okay?
I don’t know how I’m still getting out of bed every day, I don’t know how I’m still smiling, how I’m still doing work and getting things done.
I really don’t.
My brain is everywhere, absolutely everywhere. I don’t think straight most days, can barely concentrate ever. All I want to do is sleep, forever and ever.
It feels like there’s nothing...
No man ever stays the same...
First William.
Pulls a complete 180 and becomes a completely different person.
Now Jeffry.
I’m never loving someone again.
2011: off with a bunch tears...
One always imagines ringing in the new year with laughter and cheer, expecting it to exceed the previous year with friends or family.
I am no exception.
The difference is I spent it alone. Well not completely alone. I did see KJ at 12 at her work. So I guess it’s not alone.
Not like last year, where we busted in the door screaming and laughing and life was full of promise and wonderful...